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A few weeks ago, I managed to steal away 15 minutes to pick up a magazine and was flipping through the pages. The author of one of the articles wrote about why some marriages fall apart. I was reading through the reasons why and I was shocked to see that many of those reasons were exactly the same reasons why disengagement happens in the workplace. Let me explain.
Let’s say you’re single and you are out with friends and they introduce you to one of their gorgeous single friends. Now let’s call him/her Alex! You knew it was love at first site and you quickly moved to get Alex’s number. After a few weeks of talking, you begin to date and wow, the fireworks are just exploding. This love story would make even Hollywood jealous. You know that Alex will be a hit with all of your friends and family. Now fast forward 18 months. You notice that the Alex you first started dating is no longer taking the time to get ready for your dates. The Alex you fell in love with loved going out for drinks after work and living it up on the weekends. Now all Alex wants to do is order in take-out and watch a movie and snuggle on the couch. All of a sudden, you aren’t as eager to see Alex, the calls you are getting from your friends to hang out seem like a better option these days. You start noticing that whenever it is time to see Alex, you aren’t as excited as your first were and you start to question – Is Alex right for me? Is it time to break it off?
So now, let’s throw Alex into a different story, but in this story Alex gets a new job (and for simplicity, let’s make Alex a girl in this story). After weeks of interviews and reference checks, Alex gets the call, she got the job. Nervous but excited she spends way too long in front of a mirror making sure the suit she picked out is just right for the first day. Eager to impress, Alex excitedly goes to work and can’t wait to dig her heels in. After a few months, the newness has worn off a bit but Alex is still excited about the new job and it seems like she is running on adrenaline, jumping at every chance to prove herself. Fast forward 18 months. What Alex thought she signed up for when she took the job is no longer what it appears. Her co-workers seem to just get in her way and getting up to go to work has become a chore, the excitement is gone. Time to find a new job!
Let’s face it, whether we are starting a new relationship or a new job, that honeymoon phase that we all go through is definitely a highlight for many of us. We are walking on cloud 9, life is wonderful. It is not very often that you hear of someone dragging their feet into the first day at the new job. A new job equals new opportunities, new challenges, and for some of us, a fresh new start! This experience is also felt when you first start dating someone. You don’t agree to date someone and think, “Wow, this is a waste my time, I can’t believe I have to spend time with that person and get to know them.”
When we start something new, we are excited about the possibilities of where this new relationship can go. The problem though, is that for too many of us, we sit back and wait for the other person (or employer) to keep things lively and exciting for us, to keep our interest. We somehow get the notion that they should try to keep you happy and engaged and when things fall apart, we point fingers and blame.
Too many times I hear people complain about their partners or their job, but yet, they sit back and wait for life to do something about it. If you want to be the next CEO, set yourself up for success, develop a plan to get you there. Don’t sit back and wait and in 5 years complain you were never considered. In the end, success in your relationships and your career depends on your involvement, your initiative, and your commitment to make things work – but that’s just my 4 cents!
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