How can there be a negative side to values? After all, values are the foundation to our character and our leadership. Values define who we are, what is right for us, and the decisions that will be the best fit for us. Values are those core principles that guide us and provide direction to our lives and how we interact with other people.

Really, how is it possible that there could be a downside to your values?

Sadly, the dark side of values shows in our interactions with others. I have seen two ways that values can actually become a negative influence – and we may not even be aware of the impacts.

First, values are our guiding principles. However, that doesn’t mean they are the same guiding principles for everyone else around us. When we have clear values we have a navigation system that works for us. When our personal values become such strong beliefs that we disagree with the values of other people our values now become judgments. If you don’t see things my way and operate from my values then you are wrong. And that is the rub – we all generally have different values. Having a different set of values doesn’t make someone wrong - it just means they operate from different principles. We can respect someone’s differing values without judging them. In an organization it is unlikely –and unreasonable – to think that everyone will share our values. My belief is that we probably share a few values to be able to work effectively together as an organization but we also have differing values that are our own. As long as I respect your values and don’t try to impose situations on you that will violate those values, we’re good. The problem comes when we hold our values so strongly that we cannot accept other values and if people don’t act in line with our values then they are wrong. Now we are just being judgmental and take on the “martyr mindset” and that is not positive for the person or those around them. We see it in action all the time (look at politics, religion, and almost all aspects of our society for easy examples) and to be an effective leader we need to ensure we have clear values but that we respect and appreciate the differing values of others without judging them.

The other way I see values playing out in a negative way in the workplace is when we use our values as excuses. Again, it is important to have clarity of our core values and try to live our life in accordance to the principles that underlie them but we should not use these values as excuses to avoid reasonable requests and responsibilities. Let’s say harmony is one of your core values and your manager asks you to provide constructive feedback to one of your reports that is needed and can help them improve but involves a potentially emotional response. If you are concerned that providing the feedback may put strain on your relationship (unlikely if done well), you should not avoid giving the feedback because it “violates” your need for harmony. You can’t pass the buck on the feedback as it is needed and can really help your report grow – fearing that it may create discord may mean you have let your values become excuses. I am not for a minute saying you have to do everything that is asked of you – if an action truly will affect your sense of integrity then you should speak up and find a solution that works for you. However, in many cases, we are starting to use our values to avoid reasonable work requests which create pressure and stress for those around us.  I see people in the workplace expecting others to change or pick up responsibilities for them because it doesn’t “fit” for them. Again, we need a respectful workplace but we also need a responsible working environment.

The bottom line is to have clear values that guide your life but not to use them to judge others or avoid reasonable professional responsibilities.

Just my opinion …

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